Friday, August 17, 2012

Sifting Through Life: Wings and Pretzels

Pretzel recipe can be found here.

It's Friday morning and I am sitting at my MAC thinking…

"I have had an interesting week, do I talk about it or not?"

In a nutshell it went like this:

Friday-photo shoot
Saturday-pack for trip, leave on trip, car catches on fire, return home
Sunday-great day, book store, shopping, day at the park
Tuesday-work, adjuster declines claim on car
Wednesday-find out damage of $3500 for said car
Thursday-buy new car and have lunch at The Tilted Kilt, all hell breaks loose for 15 minutes
Friday-recovering from long week

Where to start is a good question.  If you know me well then it's not a surprise that my red hair and Irish  spirit comes out every so often.  I am the first to admit, in my younger days, it was pretty much a daily episode until I learned to harness my attitude and personality into something more approachable and manageable.  I became a lady and not a rogue.  LOL

To say I was high strung, unrealistic at times and high maintenance might be an understatement.  I was raised to believe that I was the cream of the crop and therefore there was a sense of entitlement that was bestowed upon me at an early age.

Through the years, and a lot of miles into my life, the struggles and triumphs made me change.  I wanted to change.  I did not like that person more times than not.

So when I have a moment when I wig out…and I did…it is unsettling to me.  Let me explain.  If you are familiar with Hooters (wings) and the Tilted Kilt (pretzels) then you may understand why I wigged out.

Having an old car with issues was such a no brainer to me, it was old and we expected the mechanical part of the car to not last forever.  I was cool, calm and collected.  We made a decision to go and buy a new car.  Keep in mind that we have not had a car payment in 8 years.  We have always tried to pay cash for our vehicles and run them into the ground…basically use them until we have no other options.

We did this with our Volvo, our last truck and the two vehicles before that.  I believe we both felt that our time of driving old cars and worrying about problems had come to an end.  We needed and wanted peace of mind while driving our family around Maryland.

I dread going to the car dealership.  Our last experience was a joke. We were very honest with the dealership about our credit and the amount of money we could put down.  We test drove a few cars, went through a few sales people and finally settled on something we liked.  Keep in mind, we did not love it but we needed a car and we were willing to settle.  As we entered the financial part of the office and found a comfy spot on the couch, the deal was preposterous.  They failed to listen to our situation, to how much money we were willing to put down and how much we needed our payment to be each month.  Without batting an eye and seeing red…we left.  I was furious that they had wasted our time.

This was our last experience and this is why the thought of going through this again was causing my nerves to bristle with anticipation at the thought of wasting another whole day sitting inside a small waiting room while 4 men decided if we could buy a car.

In preparing to go to our dealership, Cory did all of the paper work in advance.  This was awesome!  We new what we could afford, he had told David about our experience with the last dealership and we were set to go.

We arrived, he showed us some cars, we nodded our head, test drove some, agreed on how much money we would be putting down….done deal in 2 hours!   Now folks, in my opinion that is how it should be done.

Straight forward.  I was so happy!  Our week went from uncertainty to problem solved in less than two hours.  Happy dance!

In the process of buying the vehicle we opted for the warranty and this would require the car to be in the shop for an hour or so to have the paint sealed.  By this time we were starving and decided to go have lunch while the car was being taken care of.  We lived almost two hours from the dealership and this would be easier than driving back to White Marsh next week.

David told us where we could get something to eat.  This is where the wings and pretzels part of the story get really juicy and frankly a bit messy.

We found this lovely outdoor mall with a ton of places to eat.  As we pulled in from the road we could see some familiar restaurants , we thought, this is good.  We were hungry.

Walking through the mall we had a tough time deciding, I will admit at times finding a place for us to eat wheat free is hard but there is always or usually a salad option.  As we approached the center of the mall I notice a restaurant named The Tilted Kilt.  They had outside eating.  I LOVE to eat outside.

In my mind this is what I am thinking:

--oh, we can eat outside…bonus
--kilt, that word makes me think of Scotland, and that makes me think of Scotch Eggs..YUM

I love scotch eggs!

My husband says to me,  "This is so and so's favorite place to eat."  Keep in mind he has a strange smile on his face, but I am so focused on scotch eggs that my WIFE DETECTOR does not go off.

As we open the door and we are greeted by 5 lovely pairs of perky breast in little red plaid bra's and the shortest kilts I have ever seen…it's all starting to come together.

Oh our waitress was so cute and perky and did the best job.  The girls were all quite pleasant.  I have eaten at Hooters a few times, hell, I have been to Vegas multiple times and loved every minute of it.

To see girls in their underwear was not the issue for me.  The fact that my husband knew what type of establishment this was and did not warn me set me on fire.

Our day together to this point was wonderful.  We were laughing, hugging and having a great time.

BUT…and this was the issue for me….when I walked into this restaurant with no warning as to what I would find greeting us at the front door, he immediately put a wedge between us.  I felt out of place.

I was wearing no makeup, a top knot.  I looked frumpy.  I was not on my A game.  I felt that if we are going to this type of restaurant then let me look my best so that I don't feel like a mother hen.

Honestly, I felt a bit ambushed.

Do you know that look that Victoria Beckham has all the time…the glassy eyed glare…well, that was me through the whole lunch.

My husband knew he had made a mistake.

When we sat down to eat (outside) he mentioned how good their pretzels were (oh, so he had been here before). NICE.

When I hear these words, "Hooters has the best wings".  It makes me angry.  WINGS?  REALLY?

Just like here, "They have really good PRETZELS"… flash,  I make really good wings and pretzels too.

To make a long story short, we ate our lunch, paid our bill and walked across the street to spend a few minutes in the book store.

I opted to sit on a park bench out front.  I was fuming!  In my mind I am thinking what is wrong with me.  I am 45 years old, been married for 25 years and all of a sudden I am jealous!

What the heck?  I was upset, but I was really trying to get a handle on what was setting me off at the moment.  Was I having a pre-menopausal fit?  Did I really feel threatened by these young girls?

I would have been fine, if I could have just sat there on my little park bench and had a few minutes to my self.

My hubby new he had messed up and I should have kept my mouth shut.

I should have, but I did not.  Every Irish, red head vein in my body came unglued.  When I get upset, and I know this may surprise a few, but I turn into sailor Bob.

My mouth opened and out came the foulest words that a diginified lady should never ever say.  I am pretty sure that was the longest 3 minutes my husband has had in a while.

He says he loves my honesty, well he got some and then some more.  Lets just say that fudge and freckle were not the f words I chose to use.

I stormed off and walked back to the car and cried.

He felt horrible and I believe that he did.  He had no idea of knowing that one decision to eat at this type of restaurant would set me off.  I had no idea either.

He apologized and we had a good talk.  His attempt at having a burger and beer turned into an emotional roller coaster ride for me.

So where was my emotion coming from?  Fear.

I have had a hard time aging.  My husband just keeps getting more and more handsome as he starts to age.  The silver is coming in perfectly.  His body is not changing shape.  He is not having mood swings every other week.  He is pretty much the same guy I married 25 years ago.

On the other hand, I am not having the same experience and so I do fear that he might get tired of me.  This is not how he feels, this is my mind playing crazy games with my head.  I exercise every day, watch what I eat and try to stay sane.  Some days are better than others but it's a daily job that I must keep up on.

It is the fear of being alone, of loosing my best friend.

Yes, wings and pretzels are good, they are fun to have, even to look at but I don't take my husband to restaurants with hoagies and six packs (good looking men) and I don't want him to take me out for wings and pretzels anymore.

I really am not a fuddy duddy but I have come to a place in my life that I don't want to sit and look at girls that are my daughters age flirt with men my husbands age while I am trying to enjoy my salad.

Am I the only one with a pretzel and wings story to tell?  I would love to hear your story and how you handled the situation.

NOTE:  My husband proof read this entire article and we had a good laugh this morning.


  1. I feel your angst about aging, and I share it. I'll be 50 in November, and the 21 year-old in my head is horrified at that number. But, like you, I work at being healthy and fit and try to feel good about having a body that still does what I ask when I ask. Yes, places that used to be firm are not so much anymore, and I have developed (overnight!) this little built-in flotation device around my mid-section. Fortunately for me (smile) my husband shows the 26 years we've been married, too. (Plus, he's 9 years older than me and always will be :D ) I guess I just try to look at it like, he knows me inside and out, has watched my body change, watched me give birth to two 8 1/2 pound baby boys, done the ups and downs of marriage and parenting, and still picks me to take out for wings and pretzels. I always told him, the day you stop noticing other women is the day I'll worry cause you'll probably be dead. Even my 78 year-old, married for 56 years Dad NOTICES. How can they not? And I know that when I see young women in places like that, instead of worrying that he's going to want to start over with one of them (think of the annoying lack of context in conversation and her wanting to talk by text all the time!) I'm thinking a) that I want to tell them that someday having that job on their resume is not going to be all that impressive, and b) I'm really feeling ENVIOUS not jealous: I wish my boobs, butt and thighs still looked like that. :) Remember--most men don't want to cheat or start over, they just like to appreciate. It's on the Y chromosome. <3

    1. Thanks Rebecca and you're so right on so many levels. I am my own worst enemy…LOL Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

  2. Sherron, We women are our own worse enemies! I also share in the insecurity of it all, being older than my very fit and trim husband, and frumpy with a few sags here and there, I can relate, oh but can I ever. I am sure you went through the "do you love me, well if you do then why didn't you tell me you have been to that F-ing place", so on and so on! Sometimes when this happens to me/us, and after I calm down, I start to think of our history together, and how it would thrill me when he walked into a room, or called me, and stopped seeing both of those other girls when we met, and all that we have been through in 20 years, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He loves me...but damn he makes me crazy sometimes.

    1. My sentiments too. I know that he loves me, but sometimes I get into my own head and create way too much drama…LOL Thankfully we were able to laugh about this, this morning and now we have a joke about going to lunch at The Tilted Kilt…LOL In fact he has a lunch date today with two co-workers (two and asked if he should take them there? I just laughed. Thanks Donna for your supportive words and experience.

  3. You Gals are wonderful, that's all I can say. Putting up with guys like me (this is Cory), for so long, I imagine is part of why you may question your sanity at times.

    As for me, and I know it is true for some of my friends as well, when our eyes are wandering places they should not be, it is typically because we are remembering our younger years when we were much more virile and manly. Now, like you, we have aged and things don't work or the libido is not what it used to be, and we think that glimpsing these little lasses that are the age of our children, dressed up like barbie dolls, will fire up the teenager of old that has grown diminished over the years.

    Sad, but true, our moments in the sun are past, and now, instead of pursuing these girls, the teenager in the backs of our minds stares through our aged eyes trying to remember what it was like. A moment of fantasy, sure, but in reality we know the true happiness does not lie in the scene in front of us, but in the arms of our faithful wives and best friends.

    Are we then letches, unchaste, or horny old men in our hearts? No, just guys wishing they were teenagers again, if just for a moment. Though I am sure that it is not true in all cases, but for the happily married guy, like me, the only one I ever want to be with is my beautiful wife and best friend, Sherron. I love you sweetie!

    1. You're the best! Thanks for your wonderful words. I love you too!

  4. No real stories to tell (other than when my husband confessed to going to a strip club with other guys from work when we were in a McDonald's), but if you have a Buffalo Wild Wings near you, they do amazing wings and pretzels, and their wait staff is dressed in football jerseys and long pants.

  5. Sweet Sherron, as I read your post, I longed to be standing next to you so that I could first wrap my arms around you and give you a hug. Secondly, I would high five you and thank you for reading my mind and relaying my 48-year old thoughts so perfectly! On the days when I stand looking in the bathroom mirror, hating my breasts that sag to my stomach, my stomach that sags to my thighs (not really, but it feels like it), and my butt that sometimes feels that it will hit the floor at any given moment, I think of my salt and peppered handsome man and wish that I could keep up with his graceful aging. I wish that I could close his eyes to the beautiful women that I have to "compete" with on a daily basis. But then, something wonderful happens. Almost inevitably, he'll walk into the bathroom, see my self-torturing woman within (and the tears that are starting to run down my cheeks) He'll stand behind me, wrap his arms around me, and remind me that in a world of "gorgeous girls" there's nobody he'd rather spend the rest of his life with than his "beautiful best friend, Boo"

    I read Cory's comment to you above and started bawling like a baby. You are both SO lucky to have one another!

  6. Oh, I could feel your pain reading this. :) You're a better woman than I because I would never set foot in one of those places and any woman who attempts to flirt with my man gets a death stare! I am in my 40's and, though I try to take my cue from beautiful celebrities in their 40's and even 50's I know I am no longer the traffic stopper I was in my 20's. Brian, on the other hand, still has a full head of hair, flat belly and, at 6'4" still attracts female admiration. I do have a few things going for me, though. He and I met later in life (New Yorkers sowing their wild oats) so we have only been together for 5 years, have no children and so still do many romantic things together. He is 5 years my senior so I'm hoping that by the time he tires of me, he'll be too tired himself to do anything about it. :) I also know that, while he appreciates beauty as any man does,he values brains and character more. His last girlfriend before we met was a pretty and brainy physician who was 5 years older than him. That's a good man. :) Despite what happened, it does sound to me like your husband loves you and isn't about to have his head turned by a brainless 22 year old in a skimpy outfit. And you are entitled to lose it every once in a while. :)


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