Friday, January 3, 2020

Breathe in 2020

This painting is for sale. It is an original on 30X40 canvas painted with acrylic. I painted this after having an especially challenging week and realizing I needed to breathe more and slow down. Air is an element I like to capture. Please email if interested in purchasing or leave a comment.  

Breathe
is a word I want to hold onto for 2020. I have spent a lot of time this past year learning to breathe for my soul. What does that mean? Well, to me, it means understanding my internal rhythms and listening to my inner voice, following my desires and passions, and saying yes more.

One of my passions is art. I have dabbled in art for many years and found myself wavering between having a hobby and hustling for a profession. This past year I allowed myself to say yes to hard things, specifically putting myself in front of the public eye. I have always struggled with perfectionism and outside perceptions. This paralyzed my mental state on many occasions.

How did I change this? By saying yes to hard things that made me feel uncomfortable.  Saying YES forced me to step outside my comfort zone. I learned to accept my failings, I accepted a lower standard, and I enjoyed every bit of it.

Last January I was given the opportunity to be in a play with my daughter. This is something I thought would be fun (for about 5 minutes) and then I panicked. There was no way I could do this, who did I think I was. I had never acted before. I immediately tried to wiggle myself out of this situation, but the director said no. He needed me, he had faith in me, and it was a small part (non-verbal--which turned into 3 speaking parts).  I went to every rehearsal "faking it". I faked it until I made it. I acted my heart out and I loved every second of the performance. It was fun!

Fast forward to the summer and I get a phone call from the same director. He had a show. (oh, great) but I listened, and to my surprise, I was offered the lead role. WHAT? OH MY GOD! I said yes.

Again, I panicked and called him back. He again said, "no, you can do this." How does this happen? By saying yes and breathing (a lot)!

We have to get outside of our comfort zone to live a life we want. We have to accept our abilities and listen to those around us who SEE our potential. Get outside our heads and into our souls.

Here's the thing, I always wanted to act. I always felt like I could do a good job. I secretly wanted this. It wasn't until I jumped without a safety net and things turned out way better than I could have ever expected. This led me to say yes to my art too. Being a performer is fantastic, but being an artist and expressing myself on canvas was the lucky charm in this whole story. This year I will pattern my life after my desire to be an artist.

So, this year. I am breathing in more YES, more opportunity, and more soulful passion about what I desire and want. I am an actor, I am an artist, and I am enough to be both.

2020 is going to be a great year.

SAY YES to 2020

Books I read in 2019 that helped me to say YES to my desires, passions, and soul:

The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer
A Weekend to Change Your Life by Joan Anderson
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
All About Love by Bell Hooks


*This is not an ad. I do not make any money off of the links above.


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