Saturday, March 21, 2020

Don't Stop Trying

Yesterday. It seems so long ago as my days all roll into one long day. I don't look at the calendar anymore. There are no appointments, no rehearsals, no playdates, no shopping days, and the list goes on. I'm not sad. I am relieved. I am happy to have this time to sleep more, spend it with the kids, organize my house, and get back to nature. Is this what it takes to return to a less-stress life? A pandemic? There has to be a greater lesson in all of this and I hope when my grandkids read about this time in our life from my journals and this blog. I hope they know that we were trying to stay positive in a horrible situation, we tried to become as self-sufficient as we could, we tried to stay inside and allow social distancing to stop this horrible virus.

I hope they know we tried.

We are trying.

This week has been all over the board with preparation, emotions, and busywork. Some of the things we are trying to wrap up are getting our garden ready. We bought seeds and starters. We are completely quarantined in our home and plan on being this way for some time. We will be growing our own food this summer and relying on the water to provide us with crab, fish, and shell food. We have enough dry goods to last a while but not forever. We are hoping this virus will slow down but nobody has a crystal ball and food is essential to our survival. Half of our small community lost their jobs this week. We don't live in a big city. We depend on tourism to live, if people don't come, then what? Our part is to take the burden off of an already hard situation. One way of doing this will be to feed our own family and provide food for others in our neighborhood.

I am making masks. Today I will pull out my fabric and make 10 masks for my family. If I have more time  (which I should next week) then I will make masks until my fabric is all gone for our hospital and required personnel in different capacities. This is in case my family becomes ill and we have to take care of someone, even if they have a cold. We will try to contain our own illnesses so that others will not become sick with anything! We are watching our friends have to make some serious decisions about health-related issues because healthcare is overwhelmed with our future care needs. Specifically pushing off cancer treatments, canceling dental appointments, and checkups for internal issues.  We are trying to be more mindful of those around us and take care of our own bodies and minds.

We have written up all of our passwords, printed documents, talked about "what if we get it", made a plan of where to quarantine those in our family for those who may get it, talked about last rights, burial situations, taken cash out for emergencies, filled up our cars with gas, and committed to staying home. We will not go out unless we absolutely have to and then it will only be one person. Cory and I will not be doing anything together. If someone is sick, one of us will take care of them. If we need to go to the store, one of us will go. Our kids come first and losing both parents (if it gets that bad and we hope it doesn't) is something neither of us wants them to experience.

We are trying to be prepared.

On Monday I was worried, by Wednesday I was centered and ready to live the life of a pioneer, and yesterday, well, I was scared. I was worried. I felt overwhelmed with emotion. I cried for the first time. All of this is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. None of us really know what to expect, we just know it will get worse before it gets better.  I am allowing myself to process these emotions and not try to hide them. It's okay to be sad and then pick yourself up. It is okay to laugh one minute and then cry. It is okay to create a fun afternoon for your kids and then work in the morning. It is okay to over-prepare and then rest for a day. It is okay to homeschool or not homeschool. It is okay to take time for yourself to process this information. I

t is okay. It will be okay.

Kids, keep trying. Don't ever stop trying. This applies to yourself, your education, your jobs, your relationships, your crafts and skills, your desires and passions, and most of all, to the Universe. Don't stop trying to be mindful of the beautiful place you live, the choices you make, and how you decide to prepare yourself for any situation. Try to be self-sufficient, stay out of debt, get your education, find a great community of family and friends, find love, find humor in life, slow down, and live a full life which is balanced and full of charity, empathy, and an open heart.

Trying doesn't always lead to success, but I am not convinced that is the end goal anyway. I think trying is about experimenting, thinking outside the box, creating a blueprint and then changing it as you go. Trying is an attitude, a motion moving forward, an attempt to become better.

Please don't stop trying.

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