It's freezing! The temperatures are ridiculously cold for our area. Portland is a winter wonderland and an ice skating rink. Temperatures are not rising so the snow and ice are staying. My family is heading in that directions today for our niece's wedding.
Traveling with the potential for black ice and dangerous driving makes me anxious for them. I am staying home because Finnley has been sick for a week with a chest cold and cough. We took her to the walk-in clinic and found that she has bronchitis. Thankfully it's not pneumonia. I was worried that her little body was having a hard time breathing and now we know that it is. They sent us home with a breathing treatment with the hope that she recovers quickly. I have a follow-up visit next Friday. If she is not better by then we will have to look at a steroid treatment. UGH!
Last night she slept for the first time in a week, which means I slept too. YAY ME!
With most of my family heading into the big city this means I have the whole house to myself (besides Finnley). It feels open and empty. Not in a bad way. As a mom we don't realize how much of each family member we carry in our homes when they are present. I worry about each of them. I cleanup after them. I make dinner for them. I listen to their words, desires, frustrations, and accomplishments. I am their cheerleader-always on! They are my world and when they are home I care for their needs. I carry their emotional essence and I did not realize this until they left. I will miss them but I feel that I might needs this small break from a heavy load. I shall not feel guilty because I recognize that as Mom's we need to refill our own needs. Today I will get to do a few things I want to do and this I will glory in.
What shall I do is the question I am asking myself?
I am hoping to work a bit on our garden plans. We ordered our seeds and they arrived this month. We are preparing to embrace Imbolc on February 1st. This is a time for us to celebrate the coming of a new season. It's the half way mark between winter and summer. I feel this is a good time for us to work on our planting and start our seedlings. We will also make our corn dolls (corn=crop) to ensure a successful planting season. I have a candle making kit coming soon too. My little girls love these crafts. I love sharing with them about the 8 important celebrations for our way of belief.
We will be eating foods that represent this holiday. Burn a few candles. Learn about the folklore of our ancestry in regards to this celebration. I can't wait.
Planting seeds is a physical action but we also have seeds planted within our beings that are emotional, spiritual, and symbolic. I ordered the book pictured above to help grow the seeds of knowledge in regards to the celebrations of the pagan way. This journey has brought me joy and a sense of who I am. I feel connected to something more than myself for the first time in a long time.
I believe these seeds of growth started a while ago. It's taking me until this past year to fully embrace this journey. Fear of what others would think always held me back. Fear is a powerful tool that others use to sanction our movements. It keeps us down and does not lift us up. Through my psychology and sociology classes I have learned so much. I hope that when my schooling is over I will be able to help others overcome those fears.
My education to this point has been the best investment made by myself in a long time. It planted the seeds of confidence, determination, success, and vision. I look to my future with planning. Something I haven't done in years outside of my family's needs. Personally, the seeds I have planted and nurtured are benefiting my family too. I now think about my future job. I think about how I can contribute to our family financially. I think of how strong my kids will be because they will see that I accomplished something hard.
This month we will physically be planting seeds, but emotionally and spiritually, I will be tending to my the growing of the seeds with my kids, my family, my husband, and myself. Growth is good for our minds, our souls, and our existence. When we stop growing and nurturing we become stale. Our choices each day allow us the opportunity to chose growth. Do you find yourself in a growth mind set? Are you tending to the seeds in your own life?
Have a fabulous day!