19 years ago a very special little baby girl was born.
It would be a whole two days later that we would even know that she existed or had the opportunity to hold her in our arms on the third day.
On February 1, 1995 we received a call that there was a birth mother who had chosen our file to be the parents to her baby.
We were told that the due date was Feb. 15th (ish) and to plan on having a new baby. That was all of the information we were given--an estimated due date, no sex of the baby and no guarantee.
To say we were very excited and jumping for joy--is an under statement. We had tried for 7 years to have a baby only to have several miscarriages, lots of doctor bills and some failed attempts at fertility treatments.
The previous year passed before my eyes.
I was spent. Exhausted. Tired of being poked and prodded. DONE.
We were living in Texas right before the adoption process started and on a whim we decided to move back to Oregon. We missed family and wanted to be around people that would make us smile and forget some of the pain and hardship the previous two years had offered the two of us.
A fresh start.
As we settled into our new apartment, found jobs, started school and returned to a normal lifestyle I had an impression. A strong voice telling me that we should adopt.
Adopt? This was definitely an option, possibly our last one, but we wanted some time.
This was our last option to have a family and we were both excited about the prospect of becoming parents-someday. We needed time to recover and accept the doctors diagnosis. Cory and I needed to be a couple with spontaneity again--not a young couple on a scheduled sex life, taking fertility drugs, taking blood samples and test--oh my heck--the test never ended.
Back to normal was on our agenda for the next year or two.
The voice never wavered though. The time was here and we needed to act upon it. NOW
On November 4th we submitted our paper work, had our home visits scheduled and started planning for our baby that would be with us in 2-3 years.
Ah, 2-3 years was perfect. We could buy a house, finish school and plan for the future. We could budget out the expenses and slowly buy the items necessary for a baby.
I worked for my uncle and he knew that when I got "the call" that I would be quitting my job and being a stay at home Mom. He counted on me for another couple of years.
4 months later I received that first phone call on February first. Four short months and we had a birth mother. Someone picked us.
We were told that she could change her mind at anytime and that this was not unusual for birth mothers to do this. We were advised that we should not get too excited. They said to just wait for the due date and their phone call.
I had so many thoughts going through my mind. I was happy, sad, anxious, happy, nervous, joyful and most of all--scared.
I was used to disappointment. Failed pregnancies. Failed fertility attempts. Why would this be any different with our first try at adoption?
We patiently waited and her due date passed.
We were not given any information. So we went about our business and kept working, kept planning and kept busy.
Then on February 27th, I received a call from our adoption lawyer around 5 pm.
She had been born!!! She was late----she? What? SHE!!!!!
"Can you come to our office at 9am tomorrow morning to decide if you want her or not?", said our attorney.
HOLY CRAP and then the tears started to flow.
SO. MANY. TEARS.
I was home alone because Cory was at work. Due to the security with his office I tried to call him for 3 hours to tell him that we had a baby!
For 3 hours I kept dialing and pacing trying to reach my best friend to tell him that we would be a Mommy and Daddy the next morning.
I called and quit work that day. When Cory got home, we rushed to the only store open at 11pm at night--K Mart.
We had no idea what to buy. We ended up with diapers, bottles, formula, wipes and a few outfits.
Oh, and a car seat.
We called family and brought as many people to the office that we could gather. We wanted our new baby girl to be surrounded by love and family.
We nervously packed the car and headed to the office. When we arrived, Rye was in a room-dressed in pink--bundled in a blanket--nestled in a small cradle.
The cradle was the only thing in the room. Nothing on the walls, no chairs to sit. Just a small baby in a small cradle looking up at two people she would call Mom and Dad in just a few years.
We were once again reminded that they needed a yes or no answer. They gave us 15 minutes.
YES!!!!! YES!!!!!! YES!!!!!!
I think at this point more tears were shed, lots of hugs were given and we timidly changed her into our Kmart Special baby outfit. I still have that outfit too.
We introduced her to the many aunts and cousins that had come with us to the office. We cried some more.
The time came for us to leave--just Cory, Rye and myself. Our first outing as a family.
We fumbled with the car seat, managed to figure out the buckles and stepped out onto the sidewalk where the sun was shining and the air was fresh.
Was this a dream? Would it end? Should I pinch myself---do I want to wake up if it is a dream?
As the car pulled away from the office and our little baby, dressed in pink and who was fast asleep, so unaware of what had just happened. So trusting.
Our lives changed forever.
Rye made me a Mommy for the first time. She fulfilled a life long dream. She did for me what I was unable to do for myself. She completed me.
19 years old.
It goes by so fast. I love her with all my heart. She is so talented, beautiful and my best friend. She knows me at my worst and my best. She loves me anyway.
Happy Birthday Ryekins!
Gluten Free Apple Sauce Cake
1 cup fine white rice flour
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1/2 almond meal
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground all spice
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 white sugar (see note below)
1/2 cup light brown sugar (see note below)
1 3/4 cups applesauce (homemade version, see link)
1/2 cup olive oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
NOTE: A few thoughts about sugar used in this recipe. I have made this recipe with great success by omitting the white sugar completely and substituting Coconut Palm sugar for the 1/2 cup of brown sugar. The cake is not as sweet but the caramel topping makes up for that.
4 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup brown sugar (I have also replaced this sugar with the coconut palm sugar)
1/2 cup of heavy cream
a pinch of salt
3/4 cups of sifted confectioners sugar
1. Preheat oven to 350. Line your baking dish with parchment paper. This allows you to pull the cake out of the pan and drizzle the caramel topping over the top before you serve it. OR, you can butter your pan and add the glaze to the cake.
2. In a medium bowl, combine dry ingredients and mix to combine.
3. Beat the eggs using a mixer; add the sugar and beat until smooth.
4. Add oil, applesauce and vanilla. Mix until blended.
5. Add wet and dry ingredients together and with a spatula combine, do not over mix.
6. Pour into prepared pan and bake for 35-40 minutes. The cake is better if you do not over bake it.
7. While cake is baking, prepare the glaze.
8. You have two options: pour glaze immediately over the cake or let cake cool then add cooled glaze.
If you add the glaze while everything is still hot, the glaze soaks into the cake--really good! The other way gives you more glaze to swish your fork in. The pictures above are of the cake with the glaze poured on right out of the oven.