Friday, August 10, 2012

Sifting Through Life: Does Size Matter?

Last summer while at the beach, I took this picture of a woman who was at the beach with these two great danes.  She was a petite older woman trying to manage two dogs that, if they stood, might be twice her height.  They were beautiful animals to watch.  Very gently spirits.  To my husband, the size of these dog would be an issue…but to this family it did not.   So much so, that they had two and possibly more at home.  
This past week my sister-n-law and her family arrived in town.  They have made the move from UT to Virginia for a new start and a new job for her husband, who just finished school.  The awesome part about that is that he made a career change and choice after 40 and chose to pursue a new path.  Once again, we are never too old to learn something new.

I don't know if your family is like my family but when we get together we get silly and kind of, um, how shall I say this politely…coarse is a good word, with our sense of humor.

At times our conversations and comments lead back to an innuendo or comment that references"passion"….trying to keep this PG…LOL  NOTE:  This article is clean and does not go downhill.

We found ourselves using the phrase SIZE MATTERS several times.  We would laugh and continue to joke, but this week I found myself thinking more and more about this phrase (and not in "those" terms) but in how it relates to my life and the world we live in.

Super size it!  How many times have we heard that phrase, and found ourselves faced with the dilema of a medium or a large choice.  After all, for only one more buck you can get sooooo much more. It is so easy to say yes when we know that we don't need it or won't finish the meal.

I had a conversation this past week that revolved around the size of our dinner plate.  We were discussing portions and how we have increased the sizes of portions through the years.

Why is that?  Why do we need more than our grandparents did?  Are we working harder and so we need more food to sustain our bodies? Is there more food available?

I don't think that I have ever been a one size fits all kind of gal. I respect differences of opinions and like to have choices.  I enjoy being in control of myself.

This past weekend we watched Gabby-- the Olympic gymnast who won gold for the US-- out perform and win the hearts of the world.  Size comes to mind when I think of her because she is only 4'11" and yet has a smile as big as the universe and a drive to be the best.  There is so much talent in that little body.

Size Matters is just a phrase that  we can reflect on in a multitude of ways.  This past year I have added a few pounds to my waistline.  My size changed, but does it matter?

At first it did.  I was a bit stressed because I started to out grow a few of my clothes. You know the ones, your favorite pair of jeans, that cute button up top.  I knew why I gained the weight and so I had no one to blame but myself.  My size was changing.

I am older; things don't have the same firmness that they once had.  I did not exercise and yet I continued to eat things that I knew would not help my situation.  At the time it did not matter.

I could have really beat myself up over what was happening (and I did for about two weeks); then I thought to myself: I only have one shot at this life.  ONE.  That's it.

Why would I spend another minute feeling sorry for myself when I was the one that stopped exercising and made bad choices when it came time to feed my body?

I was working 50 hours a week, a Mom and a wife.  I shuttled kids to events, made meals, cleaned the house and tried to maintain the yard. I was a one woman circus act….LOL  Always juggling too many things.

Of course, something was going to have to give.  Exercising just stopped and it did.  I continued to eat and so my body did what it is programmed to do…grow.

I had to find the strength within myself to be happy with where I was at, both mentally and physically.  Really?  At 45 I am still having to do this, I felt like I was 15 again.  Back then size did matter to me in a very extreme way, an unhealthy way.

I did find the gusto to stop what I was doing to my body.  I started exercising, eating healthier and making better decisions.  It did not happen, though, until I told myself that I would "love" me no matter what size I became.  My husband has always said that no matter what he would love me.  I went from a size 10 to a 14.  When I really looked at myself I noticed that my shape did not change too much other than my tummy, boobs and bum got bigger, causing my clothes to fit tighter.  I did not look "huge" or "obese".  I was fluffy.  I was changing.

I am now on my way back down to a 10.  Not because I am obsessed with my size, but because I started moving again.  I decided that my brain and body needs to exercise.  I need to be physically active.

I decided that a size on a pair of pants will not dictate if I will be happy or sad.  In this case it did not matter to me because I know what makes me happy and not happy.  That is what I am choosing to focus on when it comes to the question, does size matter?

I see people differently now than when I was younger.  I see through the eyes of experience and wisdom.  I understand that some people are the size they are because of reasons that I am unable to see or know by just looking at them.  Sure there are those that are "a size" because of their choices, but it is theirs to make, not mine.

As I type this the phrase, judge me only after you have walked a mile in my shoes, comes to mind.  If given the choice to have a different option in life, would you?  My answer to this question is so different today than it would have been 20 years ago.

I have had serious issues in my childhood that I would never wish upon another soul, yet, because of those events,  I am who I am today.  The size of my trials in this life have ranged from small to great but they don't have to define who I am.

I think about the story of Goldilocks and how she found items to be too small or too large but then found something in the middle that was "just right".

This is me.  That is my size…just right.

How do we find that size in life, that is just right?  That might be a loaded question in that everyones idea of what is "just right" can only be determined by them.  You are the only one that can say if and when you will be happy with your size, your life, your choices, your family or YOU.

My thought and belief is that it does, only as it pertains to you and where you are in this moment.  Size can be a number, an amount, a quantity, a reflection of an image.  My idea's on what is the perfect size is and will be different then each of yours.

So does size really matter?

As you sit here reading this snippet into what I have been thinking about this week I am having a photo shoot with Capital Style Magazine.  Not just any photo shoot but one that will feature me.  I will be on the other side of the camera.

I am nervous, self conscious and humbled all at the same time.  Humbled that someone would want to  see me in my kitchen, cooking my recipes and learning how I take pictures of my food.

I have to turn my head a certain way or my cheek runs into my neck, I have to angle my body just so.  This gives me a waist.  I must not wear bold and loud clothes.  I should have a manicure done and my eyebrows plucked.  All of the things that families I have photographed for years worry about and depend on me telling them and hoping that I can guide them through just the right poses to strike.

Now I have to trust someone else to make me look as good as possible.

My stomach is turning as I write.  The nerves keep creeping into my thoughts.  Breathe is what I am telling myself to do.  I have cleaned like a mad woman in the hopes that it will calm my nerves.

With this opportunity I have a chance to grow Simply Gourmet in the Annapolis area.  The exposure will create a leap into the direction that I want to grow, where I want to be.  It provides me with an audience that is wanting and willing to learn to cook, try new recipes and be inspired by my writing.

For this reason, size does matter to me.  I know from experience that when I prepare or speak in front of a group of listeners, the amount of work I put in to preparing, is the same that I would put into if the class were 5 or 500 in attendance.

It's hard work maintaining a successful blog and for this reason, I do want a lot of people to benefit from the work that I put into Simply Gourmet each day.

I could go on and on with the analogies of how, in my life, size does matter.  I will stop.

I have given you enough to look into your own lives and see how this simple phrase affects you.  Do you need to make changes or allotments?  Are you "just right" with you?  What steps do you need to take so that your vision of size, as it relates to your life, will be reached?

I would love to hear from you and how in your life size did or does matter.

  




6 comments:

  1. It doesn't matter, but I made the choice last month to be healthier because THAT does matter. I had a horrible rash that was made worse because of my weight, and I was kinda sick of it. So eating better (and I found your blog because of it), joining a 5K training program, and being very, very public about all it made the difference. For me - might not work for everyone, though.

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  2. Lovely post. For many of us women, around our mid-40s, our life is still busy and demanding but our metabolism thinks it's time to slow down and take a break--LOL. You're so wise to realize and point out that, while we can still strive to be healthy and look our best, we do gradually benefit from accepting that we ARE aging--gracefully--and will probably never have any body part "of steel" again. And BTW--I don't have one but have known several, and Great Danes are among the gentlest dogs ever. :)

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  3. My size does matter to me. I don't want to be as "skinny" as I was before but I would like to be in better shape and also I know that I need to exercise to be healthy and have healthier heart and lungs. I used to jazzercise 5 days a week and I really enjoyed it, but then "life" happened and I was sedentary doing my job (and working 50+ hours a week) and did not have time to exercise and just got out of the habit. I know I need to get back into a healthy routine and it has been hard for me to "age" and "expand" gracefully.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Lenoria for your comments. Aging gracefully is so hard…LOL I have started swimming and running again and I feel great.

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